When Do You Not Give a Wedding Gift?

Photo by  Susie Ho  on  Unsplash

Photo by Susie Ho on Unsplash

Wedding gift giving: it’s expected when you go to a wedding, right? Well, one of my coworkers recently brought up a question I had never really thought of:

“So, you invite someone to your wedding, and they come, but they don’t give you a gift (no biggie). But then they invite you to their wedding. Do you give them a gift?”

Hmm..interesting. My immediate reaction was “hell no, you don’t get them a gift!” But as I continued to stew on this question, I also thought “well, you want to be the better and bigger person, so you should probably get them a gift.” My natural next step was to poll the room around me (aka it was just my parents). Their consensus was you get them a gift, but it’s one of the cheapest things on their registry.

What the Wedding Experts Say

Well, none of us are on the same page, so it was time to consult the experts: Google. I headed over to The Knot's website to see what they had to say, and I was kind of surprised as to what I had found. According to their blog post, you shouldn’t spend less than $50 on a gift. What?!? I’m not a bank over here, Knot team. However, they do state that you should give gifts based on your relationship with the couple. Here is their handy-dandy guide:

  • If it’s a coworker, distant relative or not-so-close friend, spend between $50-$75.

  • A regular ol’ relative or friend will cost you between $75-$100.

  • Your bestie or cousin that you love will set you back $100-$150.

  • And apparently, someone who lives in the city requires you to spend $150+.

What do I get from this? Stop hanging out with city folk. Another thing to note, this doesn’t include if you’re a member of the wedding party. While it’s likely that you aren’t going to be in your fourth cousin twice removed’s wedding, it’s something to think about when you are a part of your BFF’s nuptials.  

Don’t Procrastinate on the Gift Purchase

This is more of a memo to myself, but it’s something to keep in mind. If you want to find an affordable gift that the couple has registered for, don’t wait until a week before their wedding. What’s left at that point is the pimped out KitchenAid mixer and a pot set that costs over $1,500 from Crate & Barrel.

The Consensus on Wedding Gift Giving

Honestly, just do whatever you feel is right. If you aren’t incredibly close the couple, don’t feel the need to drop your latest paycheck on them. If you’ve known them since birth and you want to spend $250 on them, go to town.

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Tory Kalousek