5 Tips for Handling a Problematic Bridesmaid

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As a bride, you want your squad to be by your side through your engagement and on your wedding day. They’ll flank you at all times, just like Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” music video. You assume that your friends will be delightful throughout the whole wedding process.

Well, here I am to burst your bubble because we don’t live in an ideal world. You may have to deal with a problematic bridesmaid, and it’s unlikely that it’ll be fun for you. And while there are many types of bridesmaids, they all come with their difficulties.

Don’t let these betches stop you in your tracks and ruin your wedding. Here’s what you can do to address bitchy bridesmaids head on!

The Problem: Mumbles and Grumbles About Expenses

The Solution: Be Mindful of Costs

Sorry brides, but I am calling you out on this one (you don’t always get off scotch-free when it’s your wedding). Often, issues arise with bridesmaids when the cost of being in your wedding continues to rise. It’s important to remember that their life doesn’t stop for your wedding and if you’re anything like me, being in a wedding on a marketing professional’s income can make things a little tight around home. And while I understand that you want your homegirls to rock a beautiful BHLDN bridesmaid dress, it’s not always in a person’s budget to drop a couple of hundred smackers on a dress they’ll wear once. Plus, if you’re insisting on a Sedona yoga retreat for your bachelorette party, you’re probably sucking your girls dry.

To avoid this issue, look for more budget-friendly options for your bridesmaids. Chances are, you’ll be able to find an equally as gorgeous bridesmaid dresses at an affordable price point.

Problem: She’s Always Absent

The Solution: Ask Her to Get More Involved

Is one of your bridesmaids constantly M.I.A.? Before you decide to call in the National Guard, try having a conversation with her to let her know that you need her to be more responsive. There’s a chance that she doesn’t realize that you needed her help. Or possibly she hasn’t felt helpful up to that point, so she took a step back. Let her know that you value her help when it comes to checking things off of the to-do list, and remind her why she was asked to be part of your big day.

The Problem: Homegirl is Turning into a Diva

The Solution: Speak Up When You Have a Bitchy Bridesmaid

Yes. This seems very obvious, but like many things, this is easier said than done. Especially when this person is someone you consider a close friend. But if your friend is acting like it’s her wedding, and you keep getting pushback, no matter if it’s about the price of shoes or when you’re aunt’s best friend is holding a bridal shower for you, don’t wait to voice your thoughts. If you’re mature enough to get married, then you should be mature enough to have an honest conversation with your girls.

The Problem: Your Bridesmaid(s) Are Ruining Your Dress Appointment

The Solution: Make it Clear it’s Your Day

This is more of a “this could happen to you so be ready” problem. There are times when a bride brings some of her ladies to go wedding dress shopping in search of an honest opinion. Well for starters, let’s be honest with ourselves and admit that we just want more people to tell us we’re so beautiful in every dress that’s tried on. But there are instances when bridesmaids turn into total monsters are bridal salons. Whether your bridesmaid is ignoring the stylist or picking out dresses for you to try on that clearly don’t work for your body, it’s like she’s trying to sabotage your day. So how do you deal? Respectfully (but firmly) remind your girl that this is your day, and ask her how she would feel if you were behaving this way on your big day.

If she continues to be atrocious as you shop, you may have to man up and ask her to leave. Yeah, it sucks, but she wants the attention on her, and it’s about you.

The Problem: The Drama Just Won’t Stop

The Solution: Kick Her to the Curb

If homegirl refuses to be respectful and continues to be a monster, no matter if you’ve talked to her multiple times, it’s time to send her packing. In a nice way, of course. And while this may seem drastic, if your “friend” is making your life miserable, it may be time to have a conversation with her about bowing out of the wedding. However, the bride needs to be the one to do this. No copping out and having a different bridesmaid or your mom do the dirty deed. This needs to be a one-on-one conversation. Tell your friend that your friendship is still important, but the wedding seems to too much for her, and you think it’s best if she stepped down. Think Annie and Lillian’s fight in Bridesmaids:  

 

You may have to deal with the fact that your friend is hurt for a while, and there may be a couple of heart-to-hearts, but it’ll be better for the both of you in the long run. Plus, you can iterate that she’s welcome at the wedding as a guest unless she was a total monster, and you really don’t want to be her friend anymore.

Overall, It’s Not Always Easy

And that’s the truth. Being engaged is not always sunshine and roses, and unfortunately, friends can sometimes be the root of the stress or ire. In my opinion, that should be coming from your future mother-in-law, not your friends. Remember that it’s your wedding, so you run the show. Don’t let your friends bring you down.

That’s it for this week, my friends. If you have any questions, comments or tales to tell, email me at earthtobrides@gmail.com. I want to hear from you!

XOXO,

The Honest Bridesmaid

Tory Kalousek